Internet dating for men
Now I’m ready to give it another shot, because I’ve hit upon a theory – one that will exorcise my dating demons and turn me into a great seducer of women. If we’d met on a Friday, who knows what would have happened. I think she enjoyed our chat but it was hard to tell. I produce a biography of Tito from my bag but the coincidence fails to stimulate conversation. Apparently women like someone noticing little details in their outfit. Conversation – or the lack of it – has been playing on my mind.
It’s called meta-learning and, while it sounds like -style pick-up artistry, it’s far less arch. Here's 5 grooming tips to grab her attention) Later, I line up dates on the various websites I’ve signed up for. While marvelling at Ok Cupid (seemingly designed for egomaniacs and oversharers) I decide a bland profile is best. Quinn’s advice is to ignore the dating cliché that asking lots of questions will win women over: “Volunteer information about yourself – it encourages people to open up.” I talk about my upbringing and, blow me, it works. I call Sean Brickell, a public speaking coach, and relay the day’s chat to him in the hope of reassurance. “Silences at the start of conversations are image killers,” he tells me.
The theory goes that when you’re learning a skill – whether it’s ninjutsu or 21st century mating rituals – you’ll make greater progress if you practise intensively. After 30 minutes on Tinder – the app that lets people hook up with the swipe of a finger – frantically registering my interest with no regard for acne, bodyweight or bad teeth, I’m rewarded with several matches. “If you want to appear confident, be armed with something to open with. Talk about the weather if you have to.” K from Tinder is a nice, slightly chubby nanny. Loads can't) My second nanny of the day, teetotal L, again from Lovestruck.
#1 A nice guy is someone who is looking for a relationship.
For now, the best thing you can do when you’re a nice guy looking for a date is to adjust to the circumstances, no matter how much it galls you. There is something you can do that won’t necessitate changing who you are and what you believe in, which is being nice.
Instead of turning into an asshole just to sate the borderline tendencies of many attractive women, try being patient and see where the wind blows. You just have to adjust the level of your affections, because it’s the SMART thing to do. Before anything else, let us explain to you what a nice guy is.
I used to, and I think at times I might even have enjoyed it. S from Tinder is smiley and chatty with faultless social skills. Wine with M from Lovestruck – the first date I’ve really enjoyed, and the first woman I found attractive just by looking at her photo.
But after one romantic disaster too many, I reviewed my dating history and concluded there was something wrong either with a) every girl I’d ever dated or b) me. R from Lovestruck is Japanese – lovely, totally incomprehensible. When she was a baby she was kissed by Marshal Tito. She’s Italian, sort of like a sexless Sophia Loren. The algorithms that sites such as Lovestruck use to match people seem somewhat redundant post-Tinder, where appearance is everything. After a couple of false starts, I unwittingly use a blinding opener to attract C: “Nice bracelet.” This half-arsed hello is, remarkably, golden.